But, I was wondering if there is a place where the duties of a girl towards her parents is specified. I searched on the internet for instances, couldn't find any. Spoke to a few people and each one of them had varied opinions. One of them says if the parents have a son, it the son and his wife who have to take care of them and the daughter is bound to take care of her in-laws. If a couple has no sons, it is their karma, and they can't/won't expect their daughter to take care of them. An aunt of mine says, if a girl has to manage 2 families at a time, she wouldn't be able to do either of them well. So, her duty is only to her new family and doing them properly is the only duty that she has towards her parents as well, as this the only thing about her that would make them proud. And another person had a totally different opinion on the whole thing. The rules laid down in those old books don't hold good now, as it is a different situation altogether. Girls were not educated much or financially independent back then, so they were under men, unlike now, when the scenario is totally different. Applying centuries old rules to the current situation is absurd. Every individual knows what she wants and has to act accordingly.
Like every guy who feels he has certain duties towards his parents who toiled to bring him up to where he is now, there is nothing wrong for a girl to have the same feeling towards her parents. How do we balance it?
This is how I would like to handle the whole thing. I would assess where my help/presence is needed most and try to do all that I can, be it husband, kids, parents, in-laws, siblings, friends,cousins,etc. The need of so many people around is definitely bound to clash, where I got to use my discretion and do the right thing. I feel it would be comfortable this way, rather then following some rules that you are not happy following and always working with a conflict in mind.
The problem arises when the people around you, each one of them want you to follow different set of rules, or maybe even the same set of rules, not even because they want to, but because the society wants to, and your personal preferences don't match with what they expect out of you.
I do know of a lot of parents who wouldn't feel comfortable to stay at their daughter's place as opposed to staying at their son's place. I feel that people don't prefer to have a girl child, as they think girls are of no use to them in the future, and which is also why female infanticide, female illiteracy are still rampant.
I wish there was a universal rule written somewhere, that would make everyone happy and work conflict-free.
My intention of writing down the conflict that I have, is hoping to find solutions/opinions from people who know/experienced similar conflicts. Any help rendered to me in this regard will be much appreciated :)
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