Physical fitness - mandatory

I regret being a zero-physically-active person all this while. All I had done was crooned over books or worked on a computer. I did do a little playing-with-friends as a kid, but even that died as academics became taxing and the thought of a physical exercise or playing a game was the last thing that I ever thought of doing. As days progressed, I got used to the routine and laziness took over me.

When I see these people in America, a lot of who seem to be fitness freaks, I envy them. Its a pleasure to see people jog with all the grace. The swimming pools are always bustling with people. The tennis courts, soccer fields, basketball courts, are hardly free. Hiking is something which people do regularly. We had driven to a mountain range one afternoon and driving on those windings almost got us tired until we started spotting bikers on the road, biking their way up the hill. I wonder how long they had been biking.

I think its really important to make some form of a physical activity mandatory for kids, either at school or after, so that it gets into them when they are young.

With the stressed up work and home life that we are experiencing these days, I know there is hardly anytime to go for a walk or play a game. But the fact is that, a physical workout will help a great deal in coping up with stress. Also, indulging in physical activities with the family is one way to spend quality time with the members.

Staying in shape is very much focussed on these days, but the ways undertaken for the same, is sometimes going hungry. Due to lack of time or lethargy, its easier for some of us to go hungry than work-out. This might help you be in shape, but may lead to other health complications. The best way to stay fit is eating right amounts of the right kind of food, combined with regular work-outs.

It is a widely accepted belief that regular physical exercise will reduce the occurrences of heart related ailments and keep diabetes in check, apart from helping staying in shape.

I know, taking time out of the busy daily schedule is going to be difficult, but here are some thoughts(specially for women, as they are the ones who are branded as people who should cook at home). Men(who don't cook or help at home), can't give excuses as they have all the time in the morning before they have to leave for work. For the others, I would say, keep the cooking simple. Not having to spend a lot of time cooking, will save some time required to exercise.

We are used to eating elaborate meals at-least thrice a day. We need idli/dosa/pongal not forgetting sambar/chutney for breakfast, rice for lunch and rice/roti and the like for dinner. With this kind of an eating routine, we end up spending most of the time cooking and a tougher time trying to stay in shape. I would rather go with an elaborate meal once a day and the other meals would be something that I would not have to spend much time to prepare, like cereals, fruits, sandwiches, salads,juices,etc. These are not only easy to make, they are healthy too. Week-ends are always there to splurge upon :)

I have been doing some walking/playing lately. The resulting body pain sometimes(in-fact, lot of times) puts me off, and I tend to skip doing it, but trying hard to make it regular :)

Work-out, stay fit, have a less-stressed, fun-filled life!

Guy or girl - how does it matter?

I'm talking about the duties of children towards their parents. According to Hinduism, the duties of a guy are to take care of his wife/children and his aged parents. The duties of a girl after wedding is to take care of her new family viz. husband, kids and parents-in-law, respect elders in the family and keep the flag of her new family flying high. Accepted.

But, I was wondering if there is a place where the duties of a girl towards her parents is specified. I searched on the internet for instances, couldn't find any. Spoke to a few people and each one of them had varied opinions. One of them says if the parents have a son, it the son and his wife who have to take care of them and the daughter is bound to take care of her in-laws. If a couple has no sons, it is their karma, and they can't/won't expect their daughter to take care of them. An aunt of mine says, if a girl has to manage 2 families at a time, she wouldn't be able to do either of them well. So, her duty is only to her new family and doing them properly is the only duty that she has towards her parents as well, as this the only thing about her that would make them proud. And another person had a totally different opinion on the whole thing. The rules laid down in those old books don't hold good now, as it is a different situation altogether. Girls were not educated much or financially independent back then, so they were under men, unlike now, when the scenario is totally different. Applying centuries old rules to the current situation is absurd. Every individual knows what she wants and has to act accordingly.

Like every guy who feels he has certain duties towards his parents who toiled to bring him up to where he is now, there is nothing wrong for a girl to have the same feeling towards her parents. How do we balance it?

This is how I would like to handle the whole thing. I would assess where my help/presence is needed most and try to do all that I can, be it husband, kids, parents, in-laws, siblings, friends,cousins,etc. The need of so many people around is definitely bound to clash, where I got to use my discretion and do the right thing. I feel it would be comfortable this way, rather then following some rules that you are not happy following and always working with a conflict in mind.

The problem arises when the people around you, each one of them want you to follow different set of rules, or maybe even the same set of rules, not even because they want to, but because the society wants to, and your personal preferences don't match with what they expect out of you.

I do know of a lot of parents who wouldn't feel comfortable to stay at their daughter's place as opposed to staying at their son's place. I feel that people don't prefer to have a girl child, as they think girls are of no use to them in the future, and which is also why female infanticide, female illiteracy are still rampant.

I wish there was a universal rule written somewhere, that would make everyone happy and work conflict-free.

My intention of writing down the conflict that I have, is hoping to find solutions/opinions from people who know/experienced similar conflicts. Any help rendered to me in this regard will be much appreciated :)

Free-will vs Destiny

Had this discussion yesterday and the confusion that I have had for a long time now and thought was complicated and didn't care about, was cleared(at-least I think so).

I was listening to an Upanyasam when this topic came up yet again.

Watch from the 13th minute if you don't have the patience to watch the whole video.

It is said that everything is pre-determined. If something is destined to happen to you, it will happen no matter what. Then where comes free-will in the picture?

Read Ramanuja's commentary of a couple of verses of The Gita. Each action is attributed to 5 causes(all 5 of them)

1. Body 2. Senses 3. Individual soul 4. Force of vital air 5. Supreme soul

This means that the individual self is responsible for the action, but no action can happen without the support or permission of the Supreme Soul.

I wasn't clear until I read this example(from Ramanuja's commentary). Consider 5 people lifting a heavy stone. Only the combined effort of the 5 of them can make the action happen. Even if one of them is not willing, the action doesn't happen.

Apply the above example to every action. Without the agreement of all the 5 causes, an action cannot happen, which implies that we(individual soul) are one-fifth responsible for each action.

If the Individual Soul also has to agree for an action to occur, where comes the question of being pre-determined? What if the Individual Soul doesn't agree for an action, how will it happen even if it was pre-determined? It will, because of the Karma that the Individual Soul is subjected to, and Karma is cumulative. Whatever you do(good or bad), there will be an effect.

If the Individual Soul works on the basis of Karma, then where comes free-will? It does. What action you are subjected to now, is a result of what you did in the past and your future actions depend on your current actions.

This implies that both destiny and free-will exist.

In the above video, Swami says there is no free-will, except in choosing the path that will lead you to God, which means that you have to surrender your free-will to God.

It is wise to use the free-will in a good manner, to reduce the bag of sorrows. Wiser it is, to surrender the free-will also to the Supreme Soul, as we don't really know what is good.

Nama Kirtanam

Had a chance to watch quite a few episodes of the show "Veedu Thedi Varuvaan Vitalan" by Sri. Muralidhar Swamiji aired on Vijay Tv and have no words to describe the experience. The discourses mainly revolved around Lord Pandurangan of Pandaripuram and about the Bhakti of great men who lived there. The way Swami narrates the stories, he almost makes us feel we were witnessing the incident. And for a restless and impatient person that I am, who doesn't willingly listen to spiritual discourses, Swami literally made me wait for the next episode.

There is not one episode where he does talk about "Nama Kirtanam". Nama Kirtanam means "Singing the Holy name of God". It is said that the only thing that can liberate us in this present Kali Yuga is Nama Kirtanam. Swami kept reiterating it, that I got into the habit of chanting Nama Kirtanam every morning and it gives immense sense of security. I get the feeling that whatever is happening to me is given by Him and He is the Only One who knows what is best for me.

I usually have the habit of asking Him what I want and also pray for people who I know, who are in trouble. Somehow these days, the people-in-trouble-list is increasing exponentially and none of us have any control over it. A person might be intelligent, a hard-worker and devote all this time towards his exam preparation, but he might not get the marks he expected. This does not mean the person isn't knowledgeable enough. It only means that none of us have control over what happens.

We keep hearing about terrorist attacks, natural calamities, etc., more often than ever. The serial bomb blasts in Mumbai yet again - is there anything that I can do to stop all this or help the victims? As an individual I think I have a duty towards fellow people, but I really didn't know what it was or of what help I could be. The only thing I could think of was chanting Nama kirtanam for the goodness of the world, which I did today.

I recently read in a book that good and bad exist, to create a balance. I least understand this. Why can't it be only good? What kind of imbalance will there be if we were surrounded by goodness always? Again the definition of "good" differs. What is "good" to me is "bad" to someone else. Is this what the balance is all about? I am confused. Amidst all this chaos, the only thing that gives me solace is Nama Kirtanam.

In Mahabharatha, Yudhistira asked Bhishma(when in death bed) the following questions: "In this universe who is the one Deva of all? Who is the one greatest refuge for all? Who is the one Divinity by praising and by worshipping whom a man attains good? Which according to you is that highest form of Dharma (capable of bestowing salvation and prosperity on man)? What is that by uttering or reciting which any living being can attain freedom from cycle of births and deaths?" Bhishma's answer to the above questions was "Vishnu Sahasranama", which is nothing but the divine names of the Lord, chanting which a person will be liberated.

A lot of other religions also dwell in reciting the Holy names of the Lord.

Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it, that the Father may be glorified in the Son; if you ask anything in my name, I will do it.

Christianity. John 14.13-14

Contemplate solely the Name of God--

Fruitless are all other rituals.

Sikhism. Adi Granth, Suhi, M.1, p. 728

If there be anyone who commits evil deeds... let him utter the name

"Buddha Amitayus" serenely and with voice uninterrupted; let him be continually thinking of Buddha until he has completed ten times the thought, repeating, "Namu Amida Butsu." On the strength of uttering Buddha's name he will, during every repetition, expiate the sins.

Buddhism. Meditation on Buddha Amitayus 3.30

To God belongs 99 names, 100 minus 1, anyone who memorizes them will enter Paradise.

Prophet Muhammad

Hara Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Give it the choice and space....!

Started watching "The Cosby Show" recently and got addicted to it. This was aired on TV sometime during the mid-80s and it's surprising that it is relevant even today. I finished season 1 in less than a week's time and into Season 2 now. There are upto eight seasons(I think) and my entertainment for the next couple of months is assured :)

There is this family which has a husband(Bill Cosby) and wife who are doctor and lawyer respectively, and they have 5 kids(4 daughters and a son). The show for the most part takes place in their household and portrays the day-to-day scenario which we are/were a part of, in such a witty way, that you can't, but ask for more.

The love between the husband and wife after years of marriage and the way they bring up their kids, the values they impart in them and most-importantly, how they do it, is what makes it worth watching.

They don't impose anything on the kids. They give them the CHOICE, and its upto the kids to choose what works best for them. That way, the kids get to think for themselves and analyze, and be responsible for their choice, rather than blaming the parents.

Sending kids out of the house after a certain age - is it healthy? It totally is and I fully endorse it. Sending kids out doesn't mean getting rid of them or not willing to spend for them anymore. It means that it is high time they see the world with their own eyes. How do you think it is possible for a kid who has been under your wings forever, to take his own decisions, to be responsible, to start a family and to have his own kids? Are you going to be growing his kids as well? Is this healthy?

Which of the 2 scenarios is better - Everybody staying together, with conflicting ideals, forced to put up with each other, ego-clashes and end up losing the love and respect for each other or though not staying together, meet up often and making the love and respect grow by the day? I prefer the later.

Distance has always worked for me. I did go out of home after I was done with school, and I was a changed person, which people around me have always pointed out. I think that gave me the strength, courage and confidence that I could take up and deal with things on my own. Moreover, the love for home grew in leaps and bounds and with all this comes a satisfaction that you are the one who are deciding what you want to do. I do have other long-distance-relationship stories that have totally worked out, which I will pen later maybe ;)

"The Space" really lets you be who you are, and not what someone else wants you to be. For all relationships to work and the magic in them to exist, I think giving each other the space they need does the trick. Too much of intrusion only complicates things.

I don’t mean to talk against living in a joint-family. If all is well between the members, if everyone can co-exist without disrupting the peace and aspirations of others and if happiness and love prevails always, then joint family is the way to go. But, if people stay together just because they have to show the society they are living in a joint-family, there is no point.

Now, how I plan in taking my life forward? My parents are used to the joint-family setup and that is what has been passed on to me. So, I prefer staying with them and taking care of them. But, I wouldn’t want to pass this on to my kids. I would give them the choice and the space and be there for them when they need me.

Choice and space make the difference.