Staying calm

I was talking to my cousin a couple of days ago and she was telling me about a close friend, Amy(name changed), who was in stage 4 of cancer. Amy has 2 kids, and my cousin says that for all the mischief and misbehavior of the kids, Amy stays as calm as ever. She was amazed as to how any mom would not get annoyed or angry, for which Amy says that cancer cells multiply faster when angry or stressed, so she'd rather stay calm.

This conversation struck me big time. I started searching the internet about the ill-effects of anger and stress and no wonder every search result came up with a unanimous answer - it does take a toll on your body. It can be anything from head-ache, migraines, rapid breathing or chest pain to stroke, heart attack or cancer.

I am no exception. I tend to get triggered easily and have been trying to work on it. Sometimes I deal with it consciously and a lot of times I don't. Talking about dealing with it consciously, I know what/who the cause for my anger is and I talk/shout about it to someone else who can patiently listen. Having vented it out, I become normal. But the best thing that worked for me(though I most often forget about it) is not to be reactive at all. When I know the cause for my anger, if I analyse the whole situation all by myself, thinking in terms of others as well, I do come to a rational understanding. But this involves immense practice. This method is really helpful when the person who you are angry at is right in front of you. The former method of talking it out, most of the times doesn't work, because I'm not sensible when I'm angry and this might end me up in talking something that the other person wouldn't like to hear. Once I calm down and think about what happened, if I realize that I was wrong, I am going to feel really bad for it. So, not immediately reacting is good for us and those around us as well.

The worst thing is when I don't know why I am angry or stressed, and any amount of thinking about it will go in vain. This is when I get easily irritated and show it out on others for no fault of theirs. And once calm, I go behind the people-affected-by-me, apologizing.

I had been to the temple last week when there was a special pooja. After everything was over, I was doing some washing(there were a lot of vessels to be washed and it was already late at night), when the priest's wife told me that she'd take care of it later. I told her that I'd be glad to finish it now, so that she doesn't have that pressure the next morning. She smiled and calmly said that God will somehow make it happen for her and she doesn't worry about it. And I for sure knew she meant what she said. I felt ashamed. Loads of vessels were piled up for washing and they were required the next morning. There were lots of instances when my sink at home had a few dishes to be washed, and I brooded over it badly. Stress and pressure is what we define and how we look at things.

My heart-felt prayers go out to Amy and her family and to every individual in every corner of the world to have an anger-free life.

Let peace be on Earth!!!