Self-motivation....

....is exactly what I need right now.

Reading inspirational books/quotes, listening to motivational speeches or a friend's pep-talk do help, but unless I take some time to motivate myself, nothing works, because its me who best knows what I want.

I think, spending some time alone everyday towards self-development is essential. That's when we have to talk to ourselves, watch the unwanted thoughts that crop up and try to kill them. I'm still in the process of understanding what I really like doing, so that I can proceed towards that.

Atleast now I know what I don't like doing. I don't like doing what I was doing for 5 years now. Its not worth it to do something just because it fetches you money. You should look forward to doing it and doing it for a long time should not stress you out. You should not be in a position where you keep checking your watch to see how long it is before you have to leave your work-place. Happiness is the key.

Now is the real challenge of figuring out what to do and how to do it. The first step is to make sure that I'm not distracted at all, which I become very easily. Its good not to heed to others' opinions about you. You cannot please everybody. And, by trying to please someone else, you are only going to feel miserable, because it would amount to you doing certain things that you don't personally like doing.

Its not all about feeling secured in getting a guaranteed salary at the beginning of the month. I have known of some engineers, who after a career in the software industry, chose to quit and work in the media field. It really takes a lot of guts to take a decision like this, when they don't even know if the change of their career path would pay them anything. These guys are real motivators for me.

Writing all this out now helps me understand how very confused I am at this point in time, but I'm gonna hit it and see what happens.

Motivating myself and staying focussed is the need of the hour.

Happy Diwali to you guys!

Chennai today!!!

Landing in Chennai after a year, meeting loved ones at the airport and above all, not having to think about the return date - unexplainable happiness. There is indeed the fear-factor in terms of career, exploring opportunities and wanting to do something useful for yourselves and others, but this is going to be there, irrespective of in which part of the world you are. Infact, in one way it is better to be in India, atleast you have the freedom to do what you want to(not knowing what to do is my own problem), as opposed to some other countries, where you are not allowed to.

After a year in US with just the two of you at home, being with the whole family is heavenly. Their love and affection, sharing of responsibilities, someone cooking for you, etc, is real bliss, of-course all this comes with its own share of misunderstandings, conflicts and more, but yea, what is life, if not for these mixed feelings.

Friends around you, make you feel wanted. Its so damn nice to be back with good old friends and the genuine happiness they show to have you back, makes you think you have taken the right decision of coming back home.

Its been 15 days days in Chennai. and last night before going to bed, I was thinking if I missed the US or the kind of life there - without a second thought, it was a straight NO. Why not? What about the pleasant weather, the less crowded buses and streets, frozen vegetables, juices and ice-creams and all the luxury? Somehow, they don't seem to be a matter of concern at all. Life is more than comfortable with all that is available here. 

Feeling more blessed than ever! Cannot ask for more!